If there is something that parents do today, and much, is to discuss the upbringing, education and feeding of our children.
There are so many different and contradictory councils and so many recommendations and decisions of each father and mother that we all want to put our grain of sand and we all want to be able to defend our decisions.
That is why when someone asserts a question, for example, that breastfeeding helps mother and child have a greater emotional bond, someone clarifies this issue by talking about cases in which it would be better to look for an alternative, in this case, to give the bottle.
By this I mean the well-known argument: “There are mothers who breastfeed reluctantly, watching TV or doing other things, moving on from their children and sure that more bond is created if a mother gives the bottle talking and caressing her baby "
That's why I ask the question: Is bad breastfeeding better than good artificial breastfeeding? And that is why I will use a couple more examples in which the worst situation of a recommendation is sought to give way to the best situation of what is considered less appropriate.
Which is better, a mother who breastfeeds or an involved mother who gives the bottle?
These types of phrases, as I say, come up when recommendations are given about breastfeeding and its supposed affective "powers."
If for example I (or whoever) said: "breastfeeding prevents the development of mental problems" or "breastfeeding helps create a strong emotional bond with the baby", someone could tell me that he knows one who gives the Chewing gum chest and fixing the nails and so little bond will create and add that, to breastfeed according to how, on an affective level, it will be better an affectionate mother who gives the bottle looking into the eyes of her baby, caressing her and talking to him.
And according to what cases he would be right. That is to say, emotionally, if I were a baby, I would prefer (I suppose) that my mother gave me a bottle and was super affectionate, that she would breastfeed by passing me Olympic.
So in some situations it is better to bottle feed, right?
Well, emotionally, surely. At the nutritional level and at the immune level it is clear that no, breastfeeding will always be better, however as we are talking about a more emotional issue, linked to mother and child ties and ties, in that case I do think it would be better to bottle feed in some situations.
However, this statement that many women use to defend artificial breastfeeding is an argument error. The worst of situations is compared by doing something that theoretically is better with the best of situations by doing something that theoretically is worse, and in this way it is easy for the bottle to outperform breastfeeding on some issues.
What would happen if we compared a tremendously loving mother who breastfeeds with a tremendously loving mother who gives the bottle?
And carrying out the same strategy, what would happen if we compared a tremendously loving mother who breastfeeds with a mother who breastfeeds and passes completely from her baby and even gives up bottle feeding to other people?
A Mercedes is better than a Renault
I know that cars are not babies, but it seems like a good way to continue exemplifying this issue. If I said that a Mercedes is better than a Renault, surely everyone would agree with me, however, if we took a “normal” Mercedes, of the lowest range, and a high-end Renault, with all the extras , there would be (I imagine, I have not checked) various points in which Renault would beat Mercedes.
So, if you have money to buy a high-end Renault that costs roughly the same as a low-end Mercedes, what to choose?
Some will say that in that case a Renault completito better and with all the extras and others will say that a Mercedes better because, despite being low-end, it is still a Mercedes.
Does this mean, for those who prefer a Renault, that Renault is better than Mercedes?
Well, if what they are looking for, for example, is a car with heated leather seats and Renault has it while Mercedes does not, well yes, it is better ...
But what would happen if instead of the low-end Mercedes we took a high-end Mercedes and compared it to the low-end Renault?
Colecho and contact help preserve babies' self-esteem
Evaval will forgive me, since for this point I have been inspired by one of his comments from the post "" Mother ... there is more than one ": reportage about the upbringing in other cultures", in which I questioned that the colecho and the contact With the babies they will help preserve the self-esteem of the babies, since there are parents who collect and have contact with their babies that probably raise them with little love or affection.
And so we fall into the same plot trap. Colecho, affection and contact help raise emotionally healthy children if the parents are affectionate, affectionate, sensitive, patient ... and even if they are not so much.
However, if the parents do not pay too much attention to their children or if they maintain a relationship that is too harmful, with continuous quarrels and physical and / or verbal aggressions, their self-esteem may be reduced even when they collect or have many arms and contact.
In this case I do not know if one could affirm "colecho and contact help preserve self-esteem." Many will think that no, not in this case, but I want to go one step further to throw myself into the pool and say that sometimes the colecho (which will still provide night contact and some kiss or hug, I say) and the contact will be precisely those who help balance the balance of an unloving parents-children relationship.
Which is better, colecho and contact in unloving parents or crib and little contact in caring parents?
Let's do anyway as with the other examples. If we put aside colleague and contact in parents whose relationship with the children is unhealthy and on the other side to loving and loving parents who prefer that their children sleep in other rooms and who run away from the contact and arms to avoid get used, what is better?
I imagine that many will think that the second option seems better (I would have to be a baby and try both to give my answer, but a priori I also think I keep the second one).
However, saving the trap again, what would happen if we compared colecho and contact in very loving parents with sleeping the child in the crib and having little contact being also very loving parents? What would happen if we compared colecho and contact with very loving parents with a crib and little contact in parents who ignore their children whose relationship is harmful and inadequate?
I don't think you need to answer.
In short: comparisons should be made on equal terms
Concluding with the subject, the intention is to show that, at the time of arguing, you can look for alternative ways to be right even if we don't have it at the beginning.
I can think of the nursery issue too, which I don't need to comment too much because it would be too repetitive, but roughlyWhen someone says that children are better at home than in daycare, it is often argued that there are mothers who are at home with their children and pass from them and for that better in the nursery.
Well, they are probably right, but I can also say that, to be in depending on what daycare centers, it is better that they are with their mother, even if they pass from them or that to be in a very loving nursery, it is better that they be with their mother's very loving .
Comparisons should be made on equal terms., although it is logical that we defend the land we step on because there are at stake decisions that we have taken and others that we have not even taken that concern people other than us: our children. And as it is often said (well, maybe not so often): "Say what you want about me, but don't tell my son and name and let me know how to educate him."
As you have said these days several of those that you comment on the blog in other posts: “we all like to give our opinion and people have a very hard time getting into the affairs of others”. Well, since it's done, at least That it be with respect and, above all, on equal terms for both terms.
Photos | Flickr - christyscherrer, holisticmonkey, khrawlings
In Babies and more | Breastfeeding or artificial milk: Confusion of new mothers, The bond between parents and children is key to self-esteem, Diary of a collector on board
