After explaining what the breeding method consists of Amy Chua suggest i will explain because I do not like.
In the previous entry about this method, according to the author of the mother tiger, used in China, we could read a fragment of his book Battle Anthem of the Tiger Mother which certainly sums up his way of acting quite well. Let's say that your effort as a mother is, in a nutshell, to have your daughters do what she wants them to do, forcing them to exhaustion, until they achieve the goal set. Once they succeed, praise, admiration of others and their own satisfaction should make their daughters feel good and want to continue doing so.
Said in this way there will perhaps be someone who thinks "well, if girls in the end like it ..." and even see it as positive that they outdo themselves. Well, we could say that the only positive thing that can be extracted from this way of educating is that, that girls outdo themselves and, as they see that they are capable of doing something for which they thought they were incapable, they want to continue with it.
Everything else is negative, because it is disrespectful towards girls. As he comments "Nothing is fun until you do it right". That's not true. We all had fun playing football better or worse, playing cards and losing, playing a song with the guitar despite sounding "that way" and it has been fun because we have given importance and value to the way forward and not only to the goal.
Life cannot be a constant competition and children must be clear that to err is human and an opportunity to try to do better next time. You should never forget that "sometimes you win and sometimes you lose", basically because it is impossible for a child to do everything right and the frustration of not always getting what a mother expects of oneself can be too strong and dangerous.
It also explains that "Children themselves never want to work, so it is crucial to ignore their preferences", something disrespectful but not able. The ideal is educate children as responsible persons who are responsible for their obligations and the consequences of their actions, capable of thinking for themselves and looking for the path that leads them to happiness.
It makes no sense for a mother to ignore the wishes and preferences of her children, because they will end up doing what their mother wants them to do, but never what they want to do. Such education creates submissive children (and future adults) who will always look for someone to tell them how they should do things and even tell them what they have to do at all times. In addition, it is not true that children do not want to work. Children love to play and, until otherwise stated, play is children's work, since they learn and develop like this.
If we get the children to have fun learning and that what they have to learn catches their attention and arouses their curiosity, it will be necessary to fight with them to stop what they are doing (that is, to stop “working”). The problem comes when a person arrives like Amy Chua and forces them to do something they don't want, in a boring and repetitive way. I would like to see what she would think of her job if instead of being a law professor she worked in a production factory doing the same thing continuously.
It says in another passage that “When a boy starts to be good at something he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds their confidence and makes an activity that was not fun. ”. Again he talks about having children do something they don't like, but something that the mother chooses for them. Once children achieve some goals, praise and achievement will make children begin to appreciate what they do. This, however, is a double-edged sword. A person must want to do something because they enjoy it (hopefully it was always like that, even at work), not because of what others think of him when he does.
The happiness that comes from praise is ephemeral, because it lasts while they remain. Let's say that mothers get their son to do something because he wants to please and because he wants to be recognized what he does. This external motivation is fragile because the day the child does not get what is expected of him and the compliments do not arrive there will be no reason to continue doing something he did not even like to do.
This reminds me of the entry of a few days ago when a mother shaved her daughter's eyebrows to participate in a contest. These mothers make their daughters end up valuing as a positive win in a beauty contest, although most likely they prefer to stay at home playing.
I'm sorry for Amy Chua, but doesn't have my support. I want my children to have a job, even to play an instrument and be good at what they do, but I want them to do it because they want to do it, not because I want it for them. That is why I will dedicate my efforts as a father in making them responsible, autonomous and free people to choose their path.
As a curiosity, say that the author's book is one of the best sellers today in Amazon. All the controversy achieved seems to be taking effect.
