A few months ago we talked about children, nights and vomiting, in a strange equation that comes to be explained as follows: the child does not want to sleep, does not want to sleep at that time or does not want to sleep alone, parents say that yes, the child cries, the parents ignore it, the child throws up and the parents may choose to realize that the situation has reached an unacceptable extreme (their child has cried to the point of vomiting, simply by going to sleep) and end up paying attention to the child or choosing to be impassive, as if nothing had happened.
We talked about it from the perspective of some behavioral-style sleep experts (specifically Dr. Estivill), who choose to recommend the laissez faire (Let him do, that is, to vomit if he wants, that this is cleaned and ready) and other experts of sleep and psychology (specifically Rosa Jové), who choose to pay attention if the child vomits and even anticipates the problem to Don't even throw up.
Well, a few months later I realize that before a specific case of a two-year-old girl whose parents explain that she doesn't want to sleep and that she ends up vomiting, a professional of those who have a curriculum that gives envy to anyone recommends cleaning the vomit without comment, because the girl is very intelligent and is performing this action (vomiting) in search of a satisfactory answer.
That I am very intelligent I agree, because all children are so intelligent as to try to tell their parents those things that they do not seem to understand. The parents say that the girl does not want to sleep, but it is difficult to understand this phrase, because it's hard not to want to sleep. In fact, even if a person said they don't want to sleep, they would end up having to give in to their fight against sleep because they would end up sleeping yes or yes.
So it seems strange to me that a girl does not want to sleep, because with two years you fall asleep almost even in your arms if you give them some movement and are sleepy. Perhaps the problem is that, who does not want to sleep because he is not yet sleepy, something logical, because people usually get into bed when they feel like sleeping, but not when they don't feel like sleeping, unless the obligations of the next day make you think "or I get into bed now, or tomorrow I'm dead."
But two-year-old girls do not think about mornings and the dream they will have the next day, because they have too much to think about at the specific moment to think about the next day, so most of their actions are regulated by their body : they eat if they are hungry and if they don't, well they don't, so they sleep if they are sleepy and they don't if they don't.
So if you try to get your daughter to sleep when she is not sleepy yet, the most logical thing is that you receive a “no”. If you insist the most logical thing is that you receive cries, and if you continue to insist, the girl may eventually vomit. Logically The girl doesn't know what else to do to tell you that it's not time to sleep yet. If we try to sleep without sleep (something very impossible), the least we can do, I think, is to be flexible, tolerant and respectful, which is no plan for the girl to live it as torture.
But maybe it's not that, maybe she just has to get into bed without too much sleep while mom and dad stay awake. This, for many children, is a sign of rejection, precisely because they do not understand that they have to fall asleep if they are not sleepy, but they do understand that they are being locked in a room (if they were still sleepy the girl might think they do it for her, so that she rests, but without sleep, it smells abandonment).
So it could also be that, with or without sleep, the girl does not want to be alone, because both day and night feel more comfortable and more secure sharing space with parents. Space can be a bed and it can be a room, the point is to feel close to them, to feel one more, dear, not in another room, alone.
Whatever the cause, it is not more than sleeping, so I would not have written that doubt directly, but would have made this reflection seeing what is the possible reason for me to cry to sleep, putting solution: then sleep with us in the bed / room and at the time we go to bed ... and if it's too late, then we'll have to leave things for tomorrow to go to bed at a decent hour.
It tends to follow the whims of a child, but it is not that, this solution is the way for a girl who feels fear / loneliness / helplessness or who simply is not sleepy, do things for good (being "things" sleep , which seems to be the problem).
On the other hand, the extensive curriculum expert tells these parents the following:
When he vomits, he cleanses without further comment, nothing happens, it is not important for us. If the little girl sees no response in time, she will change her strategy.
No comment.
