The first days of school can be hard for some children. But most will adapt or resign (as the case may be) and the vast majority will be happy, enjoying their partners and activities. However, it is not always this way and there are children who take a long time to adapt and others, it must be said, that can take years and even there are those who will never be happy in school.
Thinking about those cases we will try to help you see what can you do if your child has not yet adapted to school.
Tips to encourage adaptation to school
Of course, we can continue working with strategies that favor the integration of the child in school, through symbolic play, talking a lot about the issue and also giving value to the negative feelings that the child expresses.
The most important thing is that a child feels safe, accompanied and respected in his personal rhythms, much more than any routine or activity that can be performed in a children's classroom or in the nursery.
The reality is that it is in the nursery, whether in the children's classroom, not all children will start the course with equal joy, some will be apathetic and others will not enjoy school (at least for them).
The ideal adaptation
The respectful school He should allow the parents, whenever they can, to accompany their children in class and would have a flexible schedule so that the child was only the time he needed
If he adaptation period It is respectful and comprehensive, there will surely be much less problems and the children would make the change of environment with more tranquility, but usually it is too rigid and there are even those who consider whether it would be better to remove it: that they all cry since some cannot be accompanied by their parents .
Moreover, there are schools, few but really wonderful, that do not prohibit parents from entering and allow an open door policy, which seems to me an ideal solution.
Without this happening, it is difficult to manage how short the adaptation periods are, but you can always negotiate to see if you can get them to let us be with the children until they feel happy in the new environment (and in the process value that environment us personally).
When the child does not enjoy school
When after a while we see clearly that the child does not adapt and does not enjoy school The situation should be assessed with sincerity and without blaming ourselves or blaming the child or the prori school. You have to be objective and also accept that not all people enjoy the same things.
Personally I am not in favor of telling the child how well he has to go through or the great friends he will do with too much insistence, because we may be denying his right to have a bad time or that the school does not like. I think you have to let them decide for themselves what they feel and think about that experience, giving them, of course, the assurance that we will go looking for them and that we will defend their rights and needs, as their parents are.
In fact, there are schools that almost amaze me that children adapt by the rigidity of their standards and the outdated pedagogical systems. Therefore also we would have to assess whether that school is right for our son or it is not suitable according to our parameters. I am not willing to accept the punishments, for example, under any circumstances I use them and I could not allow another person to decide to use them and less with the arguments I remember using them.
Anyway, every child is different and there is no universal law that forces human beings to adapt happily to the school that has touched them even if others are delighted. Children who don't adapt or those who get bored at school or don't like it They are simply as emotionally healthy and will be as sure of themselves as others if we respect their ability to feel. We all want our children to be happy, but happiness cannot be forced.
Of course you also have to talk about the nice things they will do in school, but not as something that should necessarily compensate them. The key is not to lie and give the child the possibility to experiment, judge and express freely. We may not be able to adapt better, but if you trust more in us and in yourself, which is essential to adapt to life.
I remember that my son about songs and colored cards seemed like torture, so telling him how funny it was would have served no more than to be considered a liar and a manipulator. And I couldn't lie to him and get to bear the school was the best we could get.
Respect for the child and sincerity
These children who have not yet adapted, especially them, must be supported in the negative, help them find solutions to the problems, valuing them evenly but not denying the child the reason systematically. Also assess how positive they find in school, that there will be, although the group do not like. I think this is a correct and honest way to help them adapt to school if they have not done so yet. Respect for the child and sincerity above all.
In the worst case, if the child does not adapt to a space like school, you will always feel better if you understand and respect your feelings at home, not if you feel bad about not enjoying it.
And always, if possible for the family, there is a solution, to educate him at home. I regret not having listened to my son when he was younger and not having put him through an experience that never made him happy. And I know many people who did not go to school at three years old and I assure you that they later adapted, better or worse, but regardless of the age of their beginning in the system.
But I know that it is not a solution that most want or can adopt, so we better help children who have not yet adapted to school to do it with all the possibilities at our reach: physical accompaniment in school if possible, accompaniment and emotional recognition of their negative feelings, games that make them get used to and enjoy new activities and fostering the relationship with classmates outside the classroom, staying with other families for children to play in another environment and their friendship ties are strengthened.
We hope that these ideas and reflections help you to the most important: help your children, if they have not yet adapted to school, to live that situation with serenity and respect.
